On Being a Niiiiice Driver (or, Seattle's 6 golden rules of the road)

When you merge into freeway traffic in Seattle, or when someone lets you into a packed lane (and they will), for the love of God, 1) give them the friendly thank you wave. The friendly thank you wave is a staple of Northwest drivers, as is the 2)"Sorry, yes I was an idiot," apologetic grimace-smile (clearly mouthing, "sorry!") when you've accidentally done something dangerous or rude. They go a looooong way. Trust me. If you don't, the driver behind you who was just then nice enough to let you in, or saved your sorry petutie from a fender bender will say, out loud with no one to hear, "YOU'RE WELCOME!" And next time? You are blocked out. With the "sorry I'm an idiot" response when you've made a mistake, you are immediately forgiven (with a tense smile). But if you don't, a Seattlite might even Honk at you. Seattlites never-ever-ever honk.

Seattlites are passive-aggressive drivers (Among our many PA tendencies). There are several unwritten rules of "nice driver" etiquette, and you best be minding them. If there is a merge 1/4 mile up the road and the main lane is filled with cars but the merging lane empty? 3) Merge now. If you cruise on up to the merge point, no one will let you in. No one will look over to acknowledge your existence. They will link bumper to bumper and make you sit until someone back behind decides you've been blockaded long enough to learn your lesson, waving you in with the tense smile.

Note: If you realize your mistake half way to the merge, slow waaaayyy down, turn on your blinker, and give the driver next to you the "Sorry, I'm an idiot" smile while pointing to their lane. She will let you in. Then, for the love of God, give the friendly,"Thank you" wave.

4) Do not tailgate. If you do, it's likely the person in front of you will simply slow down further. However, alternatively 5) do NOT hold up traffic in the fast lane. If you do, a string of cars (even the Volvos) will pass you on the right and merge back into your lane RIGHT in front of you. The pickups and SUVs will (justifiably) tailgate.

6) Do not cheat in the HOV lane. Calling the 800-RAT-FINK line to the state patrol is a favorite pass time of Seattle drivers stuck in rush hour traffic. We are a community of rule-followers and want to make d**n sure everyone else is too. You also risk the bumper blockade (see rule #3) when the lane ends or if you come upon the state patrol.

There are more rules, of course, but these six are crucial if you want to avoid disapproval. And, that is something one wants to avoid in Seattle: disapproval...tsk tsk tsk.